Friday, December 26, 2008

a very interesting christmas

so. christmas in malawi.
What was going to happen was Meagan and I were going to meet about 10 of our friends at Senga Bay...if only we knew....
I met Meagan in Lilongwe after a long four hours of travelling. It should only take me an hour and a half to get to the city, but it is harder to travel on the weekends. I get there. We talk about our troubles at our sites and how we are so looking forward to seeing everyone at the beach for a nice Christmas by the Lake. We decided a while ago that we wanted to get there on Tuesday and have a day before the Christmas rush on Christmas Eve, when the rest of our party was getting there.
So Tuesday morning, we set out in taking a minibus to the Salima turn off for k100. not bad. All we need now is a hitch to Salima/Senga Bay to get to our campsite/resort. Lucky us, we found a hitch all the way to Salima. Hitching is an interesting science. You not only can have the worst luck ever finding a car, you can have the worst luck finding someone who 1) has been drinking or 2) has filled their matola with people, goats, tomatoes, rice, etc and they expect you to fit...not so much. But our hitch was a nice guy just doing business in Salima. We get to the transit town and we're only 17km from Senga bay! so close!! We're walking down the road and while observing a clinic funded by UNICEF, I trip, twist/sprain my ankle hella bad and catch myself with my opposite knee, twisting it and scraping the crap out of it...not fun. We sit by the road and we are approached by women leaving the clinic who offer their cotton (used for their women business) and their aid in finding a hitch to senga bay. I'm barely walking two minutes before I have to sit down. I don't know if it was from the blood or lack of real food in my stomach, but I was passing out. I was desperate for a ride. so Meagan puts on her best friend face and goes the road to show a little leg for the cars passing by. Not much worked until a guy and his wife were kind enough to pick us up (after about 20 mins...not bad) and drive us all the way to our resort. Thank the heavens, right?
So we get there. We set up our tent. We get in our suits and enjoy the gorgeous water out before us, about 20 meters from our resort. It's gorgeous. The sun is shining, the beach boys are oogling, the malawian kids are aching for us to play with them, we lay out, go swimming, read, nap--everything we wanted to do and were ready to do for four days....

We decide to get some sun on the veranda or at least get some drinks and relax up at the resort a bit. Now let me preface this next sequence with events with a disclaimer: on ANY OTHER DAY Meagan would have brought her huge, awesome camera on vacation, but we decided in LL that it would be my job this trip to take the pictures: a hefty job seeing as Meagan usually takes about 200 pics at each PC event. But I was excited to take on the job...

So there were these monkeys.

adorable, cute, little, gray monkeys.

They were sitting on the veranda with us, just eating the leafy goodness in the potted plants, being cute and sniffing flowers. Meagan strikes up a conversation with the manager of the resort and his uncle as she tells me to get some good pictures of the monkeys. So I approach them slowly after the men say they are used to humans and nice creatures. I am about 7 feet away from one and I get a shot of him sniffing a flower so innocently.

and then henotices me.

and then heapproaches me.

I get up from my seat hesitantly.

What I should have done is run.

But I didn't.

So the monkey decided to jump down from his ledge, attach himself forcefully to my leg, and bite me.

Now don't be too alarmed here. My battle wounds are more scratches, gnawing bruises, puncture wounds, and bruises from him holding me tight.

But really. Christmas: friends, the bars, the beach, the sun, the camping, the everything...

and much to my dismay, as I was in shock, Meagan calls the PC doctor.
The conversation went as so:

Dr. Max: Hello, meagan.
Me: Oh, no, Dr. max, it's Erica. Don't hate me.
Dr. Max: Oh, Erica! What happened? (he was expecting much worse)
Me: well, there was this monkey. I was taking pictures. and it bit me.
Dr. Max:.....oh, my.
Me: tell me I don't have to come back to Lilongwe.
Dr. Max: What really was happening Erica?
Me: just what I said! I took a picture and then it attacked me!
Dr. Max: Oh, Erica. you were playing with the monkey, weren't you?

I promise I was not playing with the monkey. It must have just not liked the paparazzi. Maybe if PC had trained us to not be fascinated with all the animals Malawi has to offer this wouldn't have happened...haha

So I had to stay one night at the resort and head to the city to get rabies shots and meds and be on med hold for christmas. bummer. But the next morning, I was so incredibly happy to get a hitch with Meagan in the back of a matola (truck bed) all the way to the city. This meant fresh air and sights. As we were leaving the resort, I was explaining how happy I was to be sitting in the back of a truck bed because of the wind and everything beautiful when *WHAM*, I get smacked in the face by a tree branch. It just popped out and whacked me in the face, leaving me with a bit of whip lash and some leafy business in my mouth and bra.

bad things come in threes, right?

So Christmas '08. Remember that Christmas Erica got bit by a monkey?

I do.

It's a good laugh, really. maybe not on Tuesday, but now it is. At least I got some sun before the monkey bit me...

Missing you guys more than you know. It's been a pretty restful vacation. minus the whole "I might get rabies" thing, it was a good christmas. Zeb is on med hold, too, so he and Tina cooked us some christmas eve dinner and when we woke up in the morning, Santa had made a paper christmas tree with little boxes of tambala and kwacha. I was about to give Meagan hand sanitizer for christmas, but money is WAY better.

will be back on the computer by New Years, hopefully. I send my holiday wishes from Africa. So does the monkey.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Saturday, December 20, 2008

At Site

December 15, 2008
Nambuma:
It’s my first Monday at site and what a whirlwind of a couple of days. I have no idea where to start so here’s a mishmash of events.
Wednesday-Monday at site:
Being dropped off at site: I was hungry. I was scared. I was not ready to decorate this mammoth of a house, but I was ready to FINALLY unpack. That was the most exciting part of the day. I was greeted by the PTA members who were all smiles. I bet they’re just as scared of what I am going to do with Nambuma as I am. Mr. Benjamin, my current counterpart, greeted me and let me know that when I need something (even if I don’t want help), I need to ask him. This man is incredibly helpful and thoughtful. When he found out that I don’t make tea everyday (mostly because I suck at lighting charcoal right now and I don’t want to be a bad volunteer using charcoal whenever I want), he told me, “Oh, this is no good. You need tea to be strong. Oh, I am very surprised at you. You must make tea everyday and I will make sure you are strong. You cannot get thin. You must eat a lot and not get thin.” Interesting, no? Well, the food aspect comes up later, so be prepared for that.
The reverend (with many many many children…he’s buana “rich” by Malawian standards…the more children, the richer! Guess I better get on that…kidding, dad!) came to visit me. He lives right next to me along side the CCAP church (oh, more stories on that). He offered to find me a puppy for January, to find trustworthy people to interview to work for me, and he offered his kids as helpers. His twin daughters, about 18 years old, tend to always see me on my way to the borehole and they always insist on helping me. I carried my water on my head once and got laughed at a plenty, which was fine with me, but not Maria and Martha. I think they’ve taken it upon themselves to make sure I never have to do that again, though I’ve been sneaky and doing it when they aren’t home.
My daily food intake varies depending on the rains. The torrential downpours during the day make it hard to go to the market on some days. The food only keeps about a day and a half so going to market is necessary. The lowest of the low for me right now was taking the mold of my bread and making a hot sauce sandwich. I promised myself it would never get to that point again. I am mastering the mbeula, the charcoal stove, but I am hoping that with electricity I can replace it with a hot plate. I have little girls helping me everyday to light the charcoal so I can at least boil water…Stella, a seven year old, has taken a liking to me, so she comes almost everyday. I have been using soup mix to make my meals more interesting. I have a lot of eggs, masamba (greens), and tomatoes in various ways. Beans are very expensive right now, but that will soon change. And hopefully as the rainy season continues I will get a wider array of vegetables in my diet. The gardening has been put on hold right now. Being an “example” house and being new in the community, I have been advised to not do much to the front of my house. I also have been told that lately there has been some thieving in this village so having a garden away from my house will be hard. I am just hoping that they’ll change their minds soon so I can save money and grow some food!
The rains last night destroyed the road to my house and when I asked my friend Chimwemwe (Mr. Benjamin’s daughter) why that happened she said that the workers constructing my school did not use all the cement they brought. They sold half of it to make profit. hmmmm
I got to talk to Arianne, the rents, & Victoria this weekend. Those phone calls are hard, but really good. I think I am going to sign up for a call-back service so I can start calling some people. Realizing my life here for two years will be pretty lonely, I’ve also decided to get a kitten and a puppy (names have been decided, but not disclosed until a later date). I haven’t decided on boarders yet, but that will come with time. I think I like having my privacy and having girl students here could very well destroy that.
So I went to the CCAP church yesterday with Mrs. Benjamin (also a teacher at my school) to integrate myself some more. Come to find out, sitting with Mrs. Benjamin was a good idea if I wanted to integrate. I am now a proud new member of one of the women’s choirs in the church. By member, I am required to sit with them, do the dances, mumble the words, and pick out the different harmonies I can tag along with these older women. They surrounded me yesterday with handshakes and smiles after I obligingly stood up during one of their songs and danced with them. Now I just have to work on finding the words somewhere other than these women’s memories…
After church, my school staff had a meeting. My deputy was allotting the classes and responsibilities to each of the teachers…I am still gawking at this list, but I already have turned down some responsibilities to make this list lighter…

English Forms 1 & 3, five periods each/week
Chemistry Form 3, three periods/week
Math Form 2, seven periods/week
Life Skills Form 4, two periods/week

Department Head of Languages (Chichewa & English)
Head Librarian (guess I need to learn some library science and find some books to fill our reading room!)
Sports Mistress (I’m learning netball! And going to games around Malawi)
Sanitation Committee (making the school look pretty inside and out)
Examination Committee (I’m teaching the teachers how to use the computer/scanner and possibly writing exams)
Entertainment Committee (I make activities for the students on weekends)
Wildlife Club Assistant (I get to go on fieldtrips to the parks!)
SCOM Assistant (Student Christian Organization of Malawi…the deputy saw me at church…uh oh)

Our new school has tons of textbooks in contrast to 99% of Malawian schools, but our reading room is completely empty. We have no books these students can just take out for pleasure or research. Priority #1 with these responsibilities is organizing the library’s textbooks, creating a system to keep track of them during the year, and filling that reading room.

I think with SCOM, I won’t be able to help much in reference to bible knowledge, etc, but I can head up different community service projects. I’m thinking with this group we can fundraise money for the nursery school roof, or start a tutoring program with the primary school students, or maybe get the primary school some desks/windows/books/materials for teachers.
I must start my schemes of work and lesson plans right now…or maybe I should start my charcoal…either way I should do something productive. This Saturday I am meeting Meagan in Lilongwe, hanging out for a few days (mail & internet!), then going to Senga Bay with the Central and Southerners of my group. I am wicked excited to see everyone after our first couple of weeks at site. Being with them on Christmas and just relaxing will be nice. And it’s Natalie’s birthday Christmas Eve. Though I would rather be spending it at Aunty Cindy’s with the fam and Arianne and eating something other than hot sauce sandwiches, I think we’ll make it a fun week.
I send my love.
Always,
erica

Swearing in

December 9, 2008
Swearing in—
So today we are officially volunteers. We are officially attached at the hip to Malawi and the state department on the United States. The 22 of us got dressed up all pretty-like and got to the American Ambassador’s house with a hoard of distinguished guests from the embassy, the state department, and the ministry of education in Malawi. A good chunk of the girls in my group dressed up in traditional garb with chitenje dresses. I borrowed a dress from my friend and trainer Agatha…just you wait for those pictures. Pretty spectacular. Reminds me of my high school and first year days. The swearing in ceremony lasted about an hour or so with special speakers from the Country Director, Training director, the American Ambassador, our APCD of Education Dora, and three speakers from our group. My speech was divided in two for the Chichewa (central and South main language) and Chitimbuka (Northern) speakers, Darline and Terence respectively. They kicked some major language ass. I got to read my speech in English (written with Natalie a long while ago…it is our baby) to all these people and it was a good moment in my Peace Corps experience. To see the 21 people that I’ve become attached to and gotten to know in ways that maybe not the average American would know and to be a part of the ceremony that put us on the path to becoming part of the Peace Corps history was pretty awesome.
I leave for my site tomorrow at 7:30 in the morning. I will be the first person to site of all of us seeing as my site is so close to the city. By 9:30 I will be left in my house with all of my bags to unpack (thank god…two months out of those suitcases was not fun…and it’ll be like Christmas finding things that I packed months ago that I totally forgot about), with all of my Peace Corps materials to read, my new neighbours knocking my on door (hopefully with food), and this whole two year experience about to start. I guess it’s a pivotal moment in what is about to be the rest of my life and I am sitting in the transit house in Lilongwe scared s***less. We all did our shopping for site (buckets o’ plenty) and we’re about to leave for the director’s house for dinner. Then back to the transit house for a party that will maybe outshine the parties we’ve been having. Maybe. Those pictures, I’m sure, will also be up on Facebook because of our PCVL (Peace Corps Volunteer Leader), Stephanie. She tends to take the most unwanted pictures of us and puts them up for all to see. We are all so thankful for her though. She’s been a great resource and friend the past couple of months. We’re all sad that she’s leaving in Jan to start her life in America again. We pretty much want to kidnap her right now.
For Christmas, a group of us, mostly Central and Southerners, are planning on going to a beach side camp ground to just relax after our long and hard first two weeks at site. I’m going to try to get up to Mzuzu for New Years to celebrate it with the Northern EDU group and Stephanie. The only real problem with all these plans are the transport issues. It takes 6 hours to get to Mzuzu by bus or hitch and that is a long ride in a truck bed. We’ll see.

I’ve been getting mail and mixed cds and packages that are keeping me sane. I have these bouts of compete and utter astonishment that I’ve gotten this far. I don’t know what’s going to be different when I’m at site besides everything. Besides leaving for college, this is the first time I feel like I’m taking a step into the rest of my life. This step will define the rest of my life and that is hella scary.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

mass email #2

dear all,This one is hella long, so take it in stages. Don't get too much of an overload of me, really. It's bad for your health. I apologize in advance for mistakes....english. it's just not there anymore....which is unfortunate for my students, eh? :)
I have mangoes just about everyday. I have a host family that will never leave my mind while I’m in Malawi. I have amazing language trainers who have adopted me as the hugging-laughing PCT. I have mastered the bucket bath and chim (hole in the ground toilet). I have accepted the fact that the only reason why it looks like I have a tan is because the dirt won’t come off of my bodyv (yes, Julie, it's true). I have 21 fellow PCTs who are all intricately different, interesting, and loving. I have been nominated to make the English swearing-in speech in December. I have had very successful hitching experiences thus far (including one with an ex-pat Brit who saw how desperate and scrappy we looked so he took us out for cheesecake on our way to a Mozambique market). I am going to be living in a village funded by the clinton foundation...yes, i am meeting BILL CLINTON in march if all goes to plan. I have learned that Malawians are incredibly loving, generous, warm, and welcoming people. I have possibilities at my feet just waiting for me to jump.
I’ve decided that I am no good at mass emails especially seeing as there are three languages in my head right now as I am trying to find the right words in English. My Chichewa, however, is killer good…if Malawians talk really slowly and only about teaching, my culture, my family, and what I want from a store. Ha. We had our mock LPI (language proficiency interview) where we sit down with a tape recorder and trainer to talk about ourselves and answer questions for about a half an hour. I’m three levels above passing thanks to Beatrice and Agatha, my incredible language trainers. I think I got that score partially because I made my trainer laugh so much he had to stop the tape during the interview. If you were asked the question “What is the difference between Malawian and American culture?” you, too, would have to include a tidbit about how Malawians use their buttcheeks in dancing a whole hell of a lot more than Americans do (btw, buttcheeks in Chichewa: matako. Mah taco. Oh, priceless).
My group of 22 is especially young for Peace Corps. Most of us are in our twenties, Meagan being the youngest at 21 and our oldest is 34. We all just got back from our homestay: five and a half weeks staying with a family, learning the culture, the cooking, the dancing (buttcheeks…I swear…they do the whole Ellen Degeneres thing where they look at their butts half the time they’re dancing), the relationships between men and women, the relationships between the teaching staff and PCVs, etc. I taught a classroom of 86 juniors for two and a half weeks…I didn’t want to leave Linthipe Secondary School. I had these kids wrapped around my finger. The size of the classroom isn’t daunting until I have to correct their homework. I think I am going to implement a lot of one-on-one time for my students. I’m going to try, at least. These schools do not have continuous assessment—so their grades are based on three exams, one at the end of each term. I am going to continuously assess my students because I think it gives them motivation when they know where they stand my in class.
Homestay was incredible. I had a family that had a PCT before so they were a very relaxed and non judgmental. They have a chicken business in their compound so we always had baby chicks running around. I had four host siblings whom I would take home in a heartbeat: Lorrezi, Filipina, Makeswelo, and Numero all warmed up to me pretty easily. My family taught me a lot about surviving in Malawi (smearing mud as part of the upkeep of my house, sweeping, getting water and carrying it on my head, cooking over a three stone fire, bucket washing my clothes, how to shake my butt like a Malawian, etc). They also gave me the low down on which bugs are ones I really should be afraid of and which ones I should eat. Yes, I did have live and fried termites for dinner one night. Yes, they do taste like popcorn. No, I don’t think I’ll be cooking them at site. My Amayi and Abambo would stay up with me past their bedtime to talk in Chichewa (seeing as they spoke zero English). I asked my Abambo early on what he does and he said “I farm, I help with the kids, and I teach you Chichewa.” My Amayi usually would sit with me whenever we were both tired and just hold my hand for moral support. Malawians are very much into hand holding. As they say “love is in the hands,” so greeting people is incredibly important and the hands never separate throughout your whole greeting conversation. Talk about cross culture awkwardness.
Many PCVs say homestay is the hardest part of PC, but I disagree. The first three months at site are going to be very hard. We are told to take care of ourselves in those three months and not to do too much, but we are expected to do certain projects that will make in impression upon the community about why I am there and what I can do for them. My Chichewa needs to get a bit better for me to get there.
I go in an out of realizing where I am and how far away it is to everything else. It makes me happy to say that though I miss everyone at home, I know this is where I’m supposed to be. At least, I know this is the job I was meant to do after college. Being in Malawi is just a plus, really.
Last week at the college (Agriculture college that hosts PC in trainings), we found out our sites. For the next two years I will be in Nambuma, a village an hour or two outside of Lilongwe, the capital of Malawi. Though I wanted to be near the water, throughout training we all became excited to go anywhere in Malawi. I will be close enough to the city to visit people coming in from all around the country. I will be close enough to transportation that will get me anywhere in the country. I will be 1K away from a market and a few hours away from a Shop Rite and internet! I am close (20K) to one current volunteer, Jessica, and I am relatively close to a bunch of friends in my group who are going south of me.
My house is GIGANTIC, which is very unusual for malawi, but they JUST rebuilt my school (new lab, new classrooms, new chims, new library and reading room, etc) and two new houses for the headmaster adn what was supposed to be for the deputy, but he willingly gave the house to me. I am one of the few new PCVs that will have running water, FOUR bedrooms (the house is bigger than the first floor fo paradise...yeah....that big), and an outdoor porch with a grill and sink. Though I have bats and the house is big, I am one lucky person to be in this village. The Clinton Foundation has decided to fund three towns in Malawi, Nambuma being one of them. Soon they will rebuild the market, a new hospital, an agriculture center, a fruit juice factory, a cell phone tower and 50 new houses for families in Nambuma. I am meeting Bill in march if he decides to stick with the plan and visit. He will be the 2nd white person in this village...I wonder if the kids will yell "AZUNGU!" at him, too.
Though it is being funded by the Clinton foundation for all of these new things, Nambuma and the 30 surrounding villages are still in dispair. I made a list of things I could possibly do as secondary projects and they include: fill the library with books, build two hostels for girl students, build a new primary school for one of the adjacent villages, get books for the primary school next to my house, a new water hole or two in the surrounding villages, and a whole lot more. I have a lot to look forward to.
I know I will be teaching Form 1 and Form 3 English, Form 4 Life skills and maybe Form 2 math of Form three Phy Sci. They were really looking for a phy sci teacher, but I'm what they got, so live with it!! Life Skills essentially consists of kids asking me questions about sex, careers, college, and the outside world. We get to do demonstrations with HIV/AIDs and sex education. Think: bananas. I am most excited for that class. I have to decide if I am going to get my mail forwarded to nambuma. I have to get advice from malawians. Keep sending to Lilongwe for now. THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR BEING SO WONDERFUL. You have made everyone in my group incredibly jealous and hella wishing they had you all has friends and family. I am really lucky.

I miss you guys so much.Send my love to everyone.Always, Erica

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

hurry boy, it's waiting there for you

So I'm leaving Friday for staging in Philly. I haven't necessarily packed. Everything is in my room and in boxes to be stored, but packed? Uh, no. I've decided that in my many years of packing up and leaving with boarding school and college, I have mastered the art of packing under pressure.

Jubo is in the other room sleeping while I get things together. I'm glad she's here. Wish everyone could be here. At least this one goodbye won't be in tears...Casey and I might be sobbing, but Julie will be the rock.

I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm not ready and ready all the same. I don't think there's any amount of ready that will prepare me for the next 27 months.

I send my love.

here's the mass email:
Dear All,

So the time hath come: the mass email has descended upon you. It is my
time for a 27 month ( = 126 weeks = 822 days) Peace Corps stint in
Africa. I will be safe. I will think of you. I hope you will think of
me.

Some information for ya'll so we're on the same page. I'm leaving
Friday for staging in Philly, then off to Malawi on Sunday. I will be
in training near Dedza (about an hour south of the capital) for three
months then transferred to my 2 year residence. Skip to the end! I'll
be back December 2010 if all goes to plan. New Years 2010-2011 will be
a CRAZY reunion.

Communication is going to be shoddy, but (i've been told) crucial to
my psyche. I believe that. ;-) I can get mail and I would LOVE to
hear from you. Mail-day is quite the spectacle, I've also heard, and
I believe that too. It's like sleepaway camp but... you know... in
africa. So, yes, please send letters! I'll be able to hear all the
love you package them up with as I read them. And it's possible I'll
be able to send txt messages, though 1 battery may have to last a
whole month... *sigh. However, if your numbers change, please let me
know. (more on this later) Postcards... I have it from a good
source that postcards may end up on the post office walls rather than
in my hands. If you find a good one, try putting it in an envelope so
it'll be more sure to make it to me. I know that defeats the
convenience of post cards but it'll help the postcard from being
waylaid en route.

Mailing address:

Erica Cormier, PCT
Peace Corps/Malawi
P.O. Box 208
Lilongwe
Malawi, Africa

Important: you need airmail postage for letters. Letters will take
about 2 weeks to get to me. And number your letters. Copy them if you
can because some letters might get lost. And some letters might get
stolen. And some letters might get eaten. (ok, maybe not eaten.
but have you SEEN the things they have running around out there in the
bush??) But no matter what, I will try my best to stay in touch. If
you haven't heard from me in a couple months, it's not personal. It's
probably because my headlight has run out of batteries or, especially
in the beginning, I might be overwhelmed, terribly homesick and trying
to avoid thinking about it, or have had a strange appetite for postage
stamps which diminished my supplies... Or maybe I'll be so enthralled
and crazy busy and the days will just fly by without a trip to the
post office fitting in anywhere. I mean, who knows. But the mantra
of the Peace Corp is: "No news is good news and your loved one out in
Africa is thinking about all of you everyday."

Recap! Send me your address when you can...and send me a letter with it. <3

Packages (super expensive and not required for my undying love): try
to make sure any packages sent to me are under 4 pounds and if it is
possible, use a padded envelope so it is treated like a letter.
(tricksy!) A package can take up to six weeks if it goes through
without any problems. (see above for potential postal service
pitfalls. NB: the 'eaten' clause may apply if you try to send yummy
things!)

I WILL get a phone by January. Calling before then is pretty much not
gonna happen (Mom, I'll try, you know I will). Peace Corp rules say I
can't use the phone but CAN get mail within the first three months
(barring emergencies- see peace corps mantra above for explanation).
They want to make sure I'm not swayed by the sound of running water
in the background and jump ship, train, plane, donkey, Pinto, or thong
sandle trying to get out of there. If you use Skype, the cost
shouldn't be too bad. I'll send out my number when I have it. (Skype
is an internet-based phone service.) And in the end, text messaging
seems the cheapest way to go...and you thought I was going to get a
break from that...


I will call when I can. I will send emails when I have internet
(sadly, that will be rarely). I will update my blog when I can.
(http://ebcmalawi.blogspot.com/) I will write when I can.

I will be thinking of all of you always...

All my love,
Erica

Monday, August 18, 2008

here's the start to asking what it means to live

i want to walk through this doorway.
i want to open my mind.
i want to pledge my allegiance to all I can find.
i want a car that will crash through the barriers
to a road no one knows.
i want to feel less control,
want to bend and I want to land far from home.

the revolution of the earth around the sun
is the perfect lesson of how it should be.
so if i cannot learn
to journey and return,
to never rest till I've seen all I can see...

i want to learn a completely new language,
one i don't understand.
i want to help someone lost, someone helpless,
with the strength of my hand.
i want to come to the base of a statue built
before they counted the years,
and there i'll fall with my face in my hands and cry
and feel their hope in my tears.

the revolution of the earth around the sun
is the perfect lesson of how it should be.
So if i cannot learn,
to journey and return,
to never rest till I've seen all I can see...

train rides and pastures colliding...
colors and customs i've never seen...
i know i, yes i know i,
i know i will stumble
but time is precious my friend.

those who journey can easily understand,
the more they see the more they'll learn,
the more that they will be.
So this i swear to you, and this i swear to me,
i'll never rest till i've seen all i can see.
no, i'll never rest till i've seen all i can see.

i want to know where the stength of a person lies,
in their past or their future.
is it in the way that they hurt or they love themselves
or is it all an illusion?
i want to crawl from this skin that i'm painted in...
Body, please let it give.
i want to find the creator of all good things
and ask what it means to live

-brendan james